Then and Now: Part Two

When I was younger, I was fearless....

My family went to water parks frequently during the summer because my dad’s employer gave him coupons. It was a relatively inexpensive way to have fun and to wear the kids out. My brother, dad and I went down the super steep slide at least twenty times each visit.
Riding the slide more than five times gave you “water burn,” so at the end of the day the whole backside of my body is red as a tomato.

Now I get nervous when I look over an edge of a railing.* I have to cling to the edge to look over. I didn’t have a traumatic experience; I don’t know how I became this fearful. It was as if I grew into my 20s and a switch in my head was flipped.

People always want what they can never have and I wish for the freedom of childhood as an adult but then I couldn’t drive and who wants that hassle?

*This is actually the opposite of reality. In real life, my husband is more nervous than I am but I still don’t like looking over the edge of a balcony.

The Dosing

Hello! I'm trying out this blog thing again.

I'm trying to post once a week (usually on Wednesday).
I like: art, my pets, food, and video games.

Then and Now: Part One

When I was younger, I was fearless.



I climbed to the top of the trees without thinking. I loved to stand on the highest branch that would support my weight and I would feel the tree swaying and the wind whipping my hair. When something upset me, I would climb a tree in our yard and listen to the breeze rustle the leaves until I calmed down.



Now I’m paranoid. If I hear a noise outside my window at night, my mind immediately jumps to the worse case scenario: i.e. someone is waiting to kidnap, rape and murder me. Every crunching and skittering sound I hear makes my pulse race.



My adrenaline skyrockets and I can’t fall any sleep for hours.

(I'm not liking the texture of the paper. I'm probably not doing this again and I might redo these images.)