My Pets Aren’t Fat, They Have Big Bones

I don’t have kids yet so my animals are my babies. I feed them, water them, and scoop their poop. I make all their wishes come true, which includes a table scrap here or there when they look up at me with those pleading eyes. I have a cat named Zeek and a dog named Lucca, and they are not fat.

Lucca's metabolim after she turned two years old slowed but her loving owner (i.e. me) didn't notice.  I continued to give her every bit of food her heart desired because she looked so pitiful when I had a plate of food in my hands and so happy after I gave her a bite.

This is Lucca’s “fool proof” method for getting food from us silly humans:

Step 1: Locate food and stare at it intently.

Step 2: Wag tail and drool a bit. 

Step 3: Sit (because she thinks doing this “trick” will get her food) and commence the soulful stare of doom. 

Step 4: Whine to get the human’s attention because there is no possible way that they don’t know what she wants unless she vocalizes it.

At this point if she hasn’t gotten any food she’s got a puddle of drool at her feet and a mournful look on her face.  If she doesn’t receive food she lays down to pout, which makes you want to give her food to stop the pity avalanche.  If she does receive food then you have just made her day!

Step 5: Chomp food down, like a Great White Shark, without chewing.

Step 6: Repeat steps one through four because one piece is never enough!

My cat Zeek takes a different approach to acquiring food. 

However, his metabolism is only partially to blame because my in-laws tend to over-feed him. I love them but they’ve never had a cat before so they don’t know how to tell the cat “No!” They dote upon the cat the same way they dote upon the dogs; i.e. food equals love.

Whenever someone walks near Zeek's bowl, he meows. Sometimes he’s just bored, so he meows. He wants attention, he meows. After he’s gotten attention, he meows. He’s a talker. The only way to shut him up is to give him food (which I try to avoid), put him outside, or kick him out of the room and close the door in his face. I love cats but I’ll be the first to admit they can be annoying as Hell.

My in-laws tend to say, “Aww, poor kitty! You have no food so you must be hungry!” and then commence to top off his bowl multiple times a day.

SO now that they’re officially fat, I have to fight their cuteness factor and the in-laws giving them extra goodies. With those odds, sometimes it’s just easier to give them a treat.